Trinity Church in the City of Boston
Proper 15 year A
Isaiah 56:1,6-8
Psalm 67
Matthew 15: (10-20), 21-28
Almighty God, you have given your only Son to be for us a sacrifice for sin, and also an example of godly life: Give us grace to receive thankfully the fruits of his redeeming work, and to follow daily in the blessed steps of his most holy life; through Jesus Christ your Son our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and for ever. Amen.
What was the last argument that you had?
How did it start?
How did it end?
Are you still in that space of unresolved?
Do you even remember why the argument started?
We can easily lose ourselves in our space of arguments, we forget we are related either by blood or by baptismal covenant and we become deaf to the other’s words, merely spouting our own opinion.
Seeking to be right rather than to get it right.
Such divisive mentality is modeled to us in the media, politics and within our gospel lesson today, if we listen with only our ears.
And who can blame us for hearing right and wrong only? As disciples, just like the OG 12, we want to get things “right.” Like Peter, we want to shine knowing the right answer first and loudly. AND just like Peter, we often get things only half correct due to our zeal, passion, and need to stand on concrete yeses and nos.
In Exodus, we are given the 10 commandments, a list of “do this and do not do this.” In Matthew we are told how then to live as disciples and much like the “rich young ruler” if we only follow with only our heads and hands and not with our hearts, we have missed the gospel’s point.
We may have all the right answers and yet, where lies our heart?
Where is the grace that Jesus gives to each person he encounters?
Where is the seeking to understand and not just to be understood?
Where do we seek to gather others in rather than to win the argument.
In early May, my husband and I had the opportunity to hike a portion of the Camino in Spain. This was just before the heatwaves began in Europe.
We hiked 100km of the Portuguese route.
For those of you who are not aware, when one speaks of the Camino- this is really a BROAD understanding – there are so many different routes/paths or “Caminos” to hike. There is the north route, the French route, the English route, the Portuguese route…. Each referencing their starting point for hiking and, to make it even more interesting, on each route there are side quests- you can take a trail that wanders further into the mountains or closer to the sea. It’s a bit of “choose your own adventure,” a camino (which means literally “a path.”
The path, wherever the route may be, is the basically the same: sometimes paved, sometimes wooded, sometimes bumpy and hilly, sometimes empty and sometimes crowded. There are places to stop along the way with snacks and places with simply just benches.
People walk the camino for different reasons and purposes. Yet all are walking together for a spell and anyone walking (called a pilgrim or Peregrino) finds that they loop back with each other daily since they are all going the same way to Santiago, Spain and more specifically to the cathedral.
So there we were, Rob and Abi Moon, pilgrims…. No group to shepherd, just the two of us….and the yet to be met pilgrims around us. Being a former long distance runner, my body was used to long distance…one foot after another…just keep going. Find a friend, chatt a bit, give thanks for the breeze, wonder….aloud and silently.
Rob, the former archeologist, was used to thoughtfully digging holes in one space for long periods of time. One foot after another was a completely different negotiation for him. A new path his lovely wife invited him onto…. Bless him.
And on one warm afternoon on about Day 5 of walking, in the midst of our walking together and talking, I wanted to be right.
In my mind, in our discussion, he was clearly wrong and I was tired, bothered, and carrying too much in my backpack (regretting the choice to carry all of my things on my back and why on earth I deemed somethings in my bag as necessary.)
I wasn’t listening, I refused to back down and could not hear the actual AND that Rob was saying. We walked on in sulky silence. Or at least I did.And on one warm afternoon on about Day 5 of walking, in the midst of our walking together and talking, I wanted to be right.
In my mind, in our discussion, he was clearly wrong and I was tired, bothered, and carrying too much in my backpack (regretting the choice to carry all of my things on my back and why on earth I deemed somethings in my bag as necessary.)
I wasn’t listening, I refused to back down and could not hear the actual AND that Rob was saying. We walked on in sulky silence. Or at least I did.
A while down the road, time and steps passing, Rob repeated his statement to me again and it was there that I heard the word I had originally missed. The “AND.” The argument I thought we were having wasn’t an argument at all, I wasn’t listening!! I had not heard what Rob was actually saying and what Rob had actually done was invite me into thinking more broadly, more expansively, reflecting the understanding of the bigger picture. The walk continued with less sulky silence from me and a bigger sense of joy.
Our Gospel today reminds us of the perseverance of Love. Before today’s reading, Jesus has spent quite some time talking about what one should and shouldn’t do. Now, our gospel writer tells us, Jesus is walking to a new space. Quite significantly, “Tyre and Sidon”- this reference is clear to that day and age that this region is the “other side of the tracks”- the other side of the world for all intents and purposes. The Land of non-Jewish, non-chosen, the “not like the others.” A foreign land.
A Jewish man, called the Messiah, encounters a Canaanite woman.
She calls to him.
She calls him by the name that those who believe in his teachings call him.
She remains un-named and yet her words are remembered.
She calls out on behalf of her daughter
She has been known to have demons
She has courage, perseverance, and humility.
To endure in the conversation, to understand.
And Jesus.
We know Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, the teacher, the healer, the song of Man, the Messiah.
This message of this story is not “if you are persistent, Jesus will grant you your desire” nor is it “Jesus changed his mind”- both are the easy answers that leave me unsettled. Neither is Jesus is testing the woman to see if she will persist in her pleas to test her faith.
This encounter goes deeper.
The Canaanite woman and Jesus are not just having a battle of wits on this dusty path. While superficially it might appear that the woman outsmarts Jesus and his insults to her, the conversation illustrates to us that the love and generosity of God is ultimately available for all. Even when, at first, it seems as though it seems impossible.
The woman understands the power Jesus has, even as the odds are stacked against her as a foreigner and woman. Jesus understands her faith through her response which takes his reply and won’t let him off the hook so easily. He engages with her and responds rather than retorts or dismisses her.
Jesus stops and with compassion responds deeply and care-fully.
Hearts meeting in compassion rather than demands for the sake of knowledge of being right.
Pain being divulged masked in puns and rhymes.
Taking time to deeply listen with the heart, the oneness of kin-ship.
Arguments cease when we deeply listen to the actual message that is being shared, masqueraded by conviction.
Replacing I am right, you are wrong – with where have you been dismissed and hurt?
Or instead of I am right, you are wrong- how can we acknowledge this pain and realize we both deserve to be whole-y listened to and while we might disagree, this is not personal, this disagreement is different.
When you find yourself at “I am right, you are wrong”- where can we move forward together?
Is there a better way together?
Are we both right?
Knowledge of facts can often be used to protect our vulnerability,
Understanding one another strengthens us.
During the month of July, we heard a lot about seeds and planting things in our Gospel readings. To be honest, I was over the parables and while we have shifted to encounters with people, I am not sure we moved to easier readings! Parables are less personal in someways, people are far more complicated and messy.
Jesus enters into the argument and listens to the Canaanite Woman. The conversation is complicated and together Jesus and the Canaanite Woman conclude in healing and restoration. Their hearts meet with compassion. The love of God is deep and wide, meeting us where we are.
How often in our arguing do we stop and truly listen to what the other person is ACTUALLY saying.
What is the need that the other person has- is it to be heard, to be seen, to be loved, to belong? Perhaps their words mean something different than what we hear.
Perhaps, making deeper space to listen to each other creates the space for moving forward together with compassion so that healing can occur.
Perhaps, rather than entering a conversation ready to win, we could enter carrying a little less in our backpacks of preconception and create a space to quiet the distracting exhaustion of our walk and realize the other person is right there with us- not threatening our dignity or identity, instead they are creating an opportunity to enhance and expand our understanding of the Beloved Community as we walk together.
Perhaps this is the path, God is calling us to walk.
May each step of our path persevere to shine a light on God’s expansive love where that love is most needed.
"I will with God's Help" 